COI5

COI 4

COI 3

COI 2

COI

Draft

Amended: The two kinds of people to consider most are a) those who have nothing to lose and b) those who have everything to lose. 

A person can do almost anything once they've  given up, because the have release from the binds of fear and consequence.
Feeling that they have nothing to lose may in fact be the greatest asset in obtaining their initial objective.
However if the focus on the objective is too intense we find a person that swings the other way...
A person will do almost anything when they feel everything is on the line because typically to them the end justifies the means and that's when people start making sense of the senseless.
It is a dangerous place to be.
That said however, the liberation that results from the freedom of certain fears is a distant second to the freedom that comes from the love which casts out all fear.

 d (-_-) b

It's OK to Give Up

You can do almost anything once you give up, because you release the binds of fear.

It may in fact be the greatest asset one acquired in obtaining that initial objective.

That said however, the liberation that results from the freedom of certain fears is a very distant second to the freedom that comes from the love which casts out all fear.

d (-_-) b

A distant memory 2

I also recall a person who seemed to care less about more, and more about less.

Oft is the occasion when I get a strange recollection that I used to care about some certain thing or another or about the thoughts and feelings of others in regard to my transparency.

Try as I might I can't recall, if ever I did, why I did.

Mostly though, I really just don't care about a lot of things. I've realized my mortality  along with my ever decreasing energy and resources and have come to see that most things don't really mean all that much to me in my existence, nor do I seem to mean that much to them and theirs.

The few things that matter, matter infinitely, but those things are very few.

Ironically, anyone who can't relate might judge me as cold and cynical...  perhaps but I don't think so since it is less about disregard as much as it is about a certain kind of giving up that in the end is quite liberating.

Then of course those of you that can relate all too well are probably thinking something like,"Who gives shit what you think?" and won't, for lack of time or energy, comment or contribute.

Honestly, I don't blame you.
I almost don't care either.

A distant memory 1

I have a hazey dream like remembrance of a person I think I used to be.

A more pleasant, carefree and blissfully ignorant me.

Turn the Page

It is an unfortunate and sad thing but we drift apart as we get older. One day we stop to consider that we barely know our friends anymore.
If we're honest we would have to admit that amymore, many of them we really only know as our memories of who they once were, which is probably not at all how currently they are.
It is a tragedy of the worst kind however if over the course of this time we come to find that we also barely know the people we sacrificed those relationships for, the very people living under the same roof.

The Limited Unlimited God

I do not believe that God is a God without limits. This is a cornerstone of my faith.

His limits are two-fold:
He has self imposed limits or those things which he has committed not to do by his own will, and the limit of being true to his own nature. Although he can and does do as he pleases, we must understand that his very nature dictates those things which he pleases to do.

If God could violate his own nature he would not then be an unchanging God. This is what I believe is meant when he claims to be so, he cannot and will not violate his own pure and righteous nature.

This does not however mean that he is unable or unwilling to redirect his actions provided that in doing so he is still true to his character. For example when prior to creating Adam, God exemplifying his triunal state, debates with himself about man's fate following his fall.

I also do not believe that God is subject to his own creation(s), perhaps more accurately he is not limited by them. They are his to with as he pleases except in those instances when he has willingly committed to being so for the benefit of them. For example again bestowing man with freewill in the choice to or not to pursue God. Though God does pursue man, man is free to reject God.

As I always say:
What can man actually give to God that God did not afford him in the first place. What is it that he would not, could not take from him in spite of his great desire for it?
Love.
That and that alone is man's to give.
.

I digress...

That said, another creation of God's to  which he is not limited is time. To be subject to time disallows the notion of an eternal nature since time inherently marks a beginning and an end.

If we believe that God is subject to time as being within it, rather than outside of it, we must then believe in things such as a literal 7 day creation story, or that he is not all knowing since he, just as we, have not yet experienced the future. He would therefore be limited in his ability to maintain order in his own creation for in so being he may change the course of events but to what end he could not know. We would have made God in our own image to believe it so.

All of this to ask the following: At what point did prayer become a means of petitioning God to not simply intervene but to heed our desires and undo what has already been done? And why would he?

There are many examples in the Bible where he, as many fathers do, has chosen to do indulge the requests of his children. There are many reasons why I as a father do so, but I am finite and limited just as my children are.  I simply have the benefit of experience which really only allows me to make more informed guesses about what may be best, nevertheless they are still guesses.

I don't believe that God guesses. I also believe that being outside of time and thus all knowing, God is able to undo that which has been done and so with certainty rather than informed guesses entertain the requests of his children.

The father is not subject to the will of his child except in those instances which he allows it to be so. That's just logical parenting. But God calls himself Father and we his children.

So why does God actually change his previously determined courses of action? 
It is an overwhelming concept to me. Especially when I consider the examples of prayer given to us by Jesus, setting forth a pattern which really only allows us to pray for God's will rather than the fulfillment of our desires, though we are allowed to express our desires... like not wanting to be crucified.

I must admit that a fair amount of this curiosity came from my reading of the Jew that felt so free to haggle with God about his conditions for saving Sodom and Gomorrah. Down and down he brought the price, from a seemingly certain destruction. But we know how that story ended as well I suppose.

I've really gotten off track but this in part my questioning about the relationship between God and man. The finite grasping to comprehend the infinite.

Good thing I'm using my phone,  this could have been much longer.

Solo Cristo Salva
db

Unsolicited Advice 1

Better to de-bait than to debate.
Better to be insightful than inciteful.
d (-_-) b

Bake for them two cakes

We don't know much about Jesus' life pre ministry and it seems to me that only the most significant  points of His life and lessons during His three year public ministry must be recorded.

So my question is this why, at his mother's request,  did Jesus turn water into wine for a wedding party that had been drinking for days and thus consumed all the wine provided by the party host?

There was clearly no physical need being met, and yet he produced wine of note able excellence so the party might continue.

Is there actually a lesson in this?

Observations of the American Jesus

I am the god of the American "christian".
I am American Jesus.

I am found in the balancing point,
created in the hearts of you who will not choose, bound by fear.
I am the common religion. 
You worship at my altars morning, noon and night.

If you ever awakened from your american dreams, 
you would need only open your eyes to see my presence 
deeply rooted and intertwined within your lives.

Like a cancer, you dare not remove, I will kill you.
Do not confuse me with actual Jesus, 
for I am the substitute that you have created and chosen over him.

I am not the Jesus you profess in polite conversations, 
or the one talked about in the bible.
I am rather, the Jesus our culture shows me to be in practice.
You love me, because you first loved yourself.

I am not concerned with principals for living, 
for I work in the practicalities of life.

Yes, I am the Jesus you will find lurking just under the surface of good intentions.
I am the underlying motive.

I will wait out your convictions borne of guilt.
I will show you their folly and increase their burden, 
and when you grow tired of them, I will offer relief,  
and remove their purpose from your memories.

I can be found among the religious, 
the congregations, 
and among your leaders, 
but I am not biblical Jesus.

I am the $5 cup of coffee 
in a world that dies from lack of water.
I am gluttony in a starving world.

Yes, I am the Jesus of prosperity and comfortable living.
The Jesus of self-gratification and qualifiers.
I am the Jesus of personal and political agendas.
I am the Jesus of big business and bottom lines, of profits over people.

I am everywhere....
and I am not concerned about being hidden 
except to those who would look, 
but in fear of facing themselves, very few dare to.

Yes, I am the American Jesus...
              …the one that people who don't know biblical Jesus experience everyday.

I am not a servant, 
neither am I humble or meek, 
I am loud and self serving.

You do not choose to see me, 
but I am seen and heard quite clearly 
by those who do not pretend to fear.

It is the memory of me that will last far beyond that of actual Jesus for most...
American Jesus…
the one that people will recall most vividly, 
for I am their last impression, 
their most recent interaction.
I am the idle chatter, 
the gossip, 
the slander. 

I am the latest headline.

Should anyone dare to recall the biblical Jesus, 
it is my bitter memory that will stop them from seeking him further.

I am the Jesus of fictional literature, and well written movies.
I am the distraction. 

I will not bore you, 
I will entertain you.

And when you cannot recall his teachings, 
you may use mine instead.

I am the Jesus that chooses the path of least resistance.

I preach equality, but choose prosperity.
I proclaims to have faith, but chooses security.

I am the magical granter of wishes, for whatever your heart desires.

I will put you on the guest list, and get you in the club.

I will give you elite and intellectual social circles, 
so you can flatter yourselves, by trading wisdom with knowledge.

I will provide for you the keys to success, 
instant integrity, and a built in client base...

             ...and for all of this, you need only mention my name in passing.

Neither repentance, forgiveness, or sacrifice do I ask you to extend, 
except that it may further your own cause, 
and I will not frighten you by speaking of hell, 
except as a place for those that you can not pardon.
Your neighbors, your enemies,
anyone who may infringe upon your rights, your comforts and your feelings.

For I am not grace and mercy, I am justice and revenge.
I will justify your hate, as you speak of love.

I will tell you that all truth is subjective, all views are valid, 
and all paths lead to God, but that yours alone is correct.
I will endorse the assertions of your bias and opinions as truth, 
you need only attribute them to me.

I allow you to judge while condemning judgment.

I will allow you to lie, cheat, steal, and exploit the hardships of others, 
whatever benefits you,
while at the same time allowing you to be shocked and amazed 
when others do the same.

Yes, I am the American Jesus...
you passively protest my presence, 
on blogs and Facebook notes, in the lives of others, 

...and yet the thought of a life without me will strike a deep unshakeable, paralyzing fear.

I offer no conviction by imposing absolute standards in the matters of morals and ethics.

So, I will allow you to rest easy, 
knowing that you are as good 
if not better than those around you, 
and that is good enough.

I will tell you that you are wise, and self sufficient, 
but lacking in the material objects that will bring you happiness and beauty.
I will turn your desires in to necessities, 
and you will sacrifice your life and relationships to meet those needs.

But if you feel you are lacking or become discouraged, 
I will remind you of your riches, 
by showing you pictures of people in far away places, 
people who suffer so that you may prosper, 
and I will ease your conscience when you give sparingly to their cause.

I will offer the security of salvation, 
and will satisfy your pride by allowing you to earn it.

No, I am not biblical Jesus, I'm better, 
for I  require nothing and yet everything, 
while offering everything and yet nothing.

I am the dream Jesus. 
The one that you wish existed, 
the only one you desire enough to pursue.
I will tell you the lies you so wish to hear...

Make no mistake, for I am your real religion, 

and I will tell you that you can have it both ways.

I am the American Jesus, 
the one who's glory you seek foremost, 
for we are one.

Yes, I am the one whose will you fulfill...

                                                           ...for I am you.

d(-_-)b

Two turtle dives

Unsolicited Advice

I1. Most things can be done one of two ways, quickly or correctly but not usually both.

2. You will work harder than you ever would have later to be lazy now, than you ever would to just work now.

3. It is far better to keep up than to catch up.

4. Do what you need to now, so you can do what you want to later.

5. Never assume that anyone will care or make more effort toward a particular end than you are willing to, although many would ask and let you care and exert more effort than they do toward that same end, even when they are the  only benefactor.

6. Don't  expect to be thanked simply for doing what is right. Let your excellence in your work be its own reward. It will pay off in the end.

7. There are things that will be done only if you do them asked things that will get done because they have to. Concentrate on the former.

8. Do the jobs that no one else wants to as though you want to regardless of how you feel about them.

9. If we ever hope to stop having our time consumed with addressing what the problem is we have to start addressing why the problem is and work from there.

10. Avoid time pirates.

11. Salesmen sell. Their objective is to get your money. They will not treat you better after they have your money than they do before they have it.

12. Everyone is selling something.

13. Anyone who tells you they believe in God and pursues Him no further than that doesn't actually believe in God.

14. Managers manage.

15. Perception is more important than truth.

16. We move in the direction of our vision.

17. It's good to do important work, but it's important to do good work.

No Words

When you are at a loss for words, but you feel like you need to say something, just imagine the conversation in your mind. Start it with," Words escape me. I wish I knew quite what to say here." You'll find a whole bunch of words after that.

Life in The Passed Tents

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Life in The Passed Tents

We want a hero and we want a villian.
But those things don't truly exist, at least not in the mythological proportions we seem to desire.

We really want a world that's easy to understand, but that doesn't exist either.

We fear the future and lament the nonexistent glory of days gone by...
just like every generation before ours.

The truth is, the romance of a more simple time is mostly found in retrospect more than it is experienced in the moment.

It is the difference between the experiencing self and the remembering self.

Back then it was just ball busting work which drove people to create solutions. We have the technology we can so callously curse today, because we haven't known a life without it like yesterday.

Focus on the future, learn from the past.

♡ d (●¿●) b

Grinning From Here To Hear

Originally Published Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Grinning From Here To Hear

I don't actually understand it myself, so I won't pretend to know why it happens,  or try to convince you about what happens afterward, but for some reason we are here.

If we are here first, or only here ever, is an answer that you alone must decide, make peace with that and be certain enough of to live and die in it without regret.

It is a journey of sorts. More of a process than a product and all that beautifully glorious, horrifically tragic, mundane shit that we all experience before we die, well we call that life.

Life is for living.
Enjoy it while you can
Endure it when you must.

However short or long it may seem, in this brief moment, it will always be too short for someone and too long for someone else. We all get the same in the end, a lifetime.

In the big picture though it is as it should be, exactly the length it is and no more and who are we to say otherwise?

Whatever it may consist of in length, it is very brief in the grand scheme. Perhaps it is brief so the end will be visible from the beginning. Perhaps it is to make it more than simply endurable, but enjoyable as well.

The end looms larger as we approach it but we also gain the advantage of hindsight and perspective as we approach it.

I have come to find that a great deal of life ultimately means very little, but that there is a very little bit of it that in fact means a great deal more than we care to consider sometimes.

We are given life to live it.
This too shall pass.

It ours alone... but it somehow takes on greater significance when we realize that we are not at all alone in our humanity.  That our lives and the choices we make can and will impact the lives of others we may barely or not even know and for far longer than we will ever live to see.

Yet, as mysterious as each of our lives are we can at times hold very little regard for the value of our own or those of others. We manage to live in denial about our ultimate fates, until we are forced to face them. Until one day when one of those lives intersecting our own is abruptly removed and a void in their absence is left.
A void that will never quite be fully filled.

Like hearing a noise for so long that it becomes as silence to us over time, only after its source is permanently removed do we begin to realize what a beautiful sound it was after all.

Whatever the reason, the purpose, the meaning, the significance, we are here.

We are small to be sure.
Our existence perhaps barely noticible.
It is true, we are only one of millions, billions in fact.
But we are not insignificant...
...or so the prophets of truths and the tellers of stories would have us believe.

Whatever you may believe, whether by default or design, we are somehow here, and it seems that at the heart of most matters it is the heart that matters most if we are to have a life worth living.

Be good to yourselves, more importantly, be good to each other.

Solo Cristo Salva
d (-_-) b

roberto esponja at 14.1.15

We Who Wait Welcome You

This is the new blog.
I have several ideas about the direction it will go, but nothing in concrete quite yet.

My only real hope here is to return to the original intention of Failure in the Victory Garden, with painfully honest transparency for both spiritual healing and clarity on my own perspectives/direction. With that, I will say that I intend to republish some of the more personally relevant articles I've written from the Failure blog here as well.

If you find value in it all the better, but it's not the point of it.

If you know me at all by now, you probably know that I have no concern for offense, either offering or receiving it. (Although I would never needlessly do so.) It like so many things can be a part of the healing process. Get over your offense enough to learn why you are offended,  rather than considering that you are offended, and you'll know what I mean.

Removing you self as much as possible as a factor from the equation is vital to gaining a less distorted view of any truth... or so I think. You can figure that one out if you want.

Most often it is we who block our own view of truth.

If you know me, you also then know that I believe that the ugliness we can see on the outside is far worse once we start looking at the inside. I think that's true of people everywhere, and most often what we see is only what is revealed intentionality or not. Sometimes it is plain to see other times we have to look for it.

External beauty is far easier to achieve than internal beauty.

It's a difficult thing to face that ugliness which is in ourselves and it is why I think most of us, and me too, would rather avoid it if we can. It really does take a lifetime to prepare for living.

I don't really care if anyone likes what I have to say. Trust me I dislike myself far more than you ever could, the major difference being that only I am stuck with it and only the efforts I expend will change it.  With the best and worst of intentions several have tried and failed throughout my lifetime.

I am not beyond correction, however if you feel inclined to tell me that I'm wrong have the respect to explain to me how it is that you believe I am wrong or your opinion will be regarded as simply that, your opinion. Teach me all you wise ones.

Based in my own experiences, I have to think that what holds true for taking in personal guilt and blame also holds true for our own thoughts processes over all. That is, we believe what we have been prepared to and are then willing to believe.

All of us know that we have limited experiences and understandings that shape our belief systems. If we believe in a God that operates through design and not default we would take into consideration that those same experiences and understandings that shape our beliefs, are also different between each of us. So then it would seem natural that while some of our beliefs may have as much commonality, as our histories do, they may only share that much, and it would be arrogant on our part to think that only our beliefs are the correct beliefs.

If right and wrong are factors to consider we must also consider that we may unknowingly be either at any point as well. If we can acknowledge that much, we would be wise to reserve that level of judgement we could easily share in ourselves and simply listen to the tales of others and share with them our own without ulterior motive. It called bearing witness and I think it's we are called to do. God will sell Himself.

Lessons from the playground:
1.It takes one to know one.
2. ... words bounce off me and stick to you.

Back to the point, this applies not simply to faith and our perceptions of God and His attributes, but also those perceptions and attributes that we apply to others and ourselves.

Perception however is not reality.

That being said, our culture loves to blame shift and confuse one as being the other in labeling them as "our truths" when if fact they are simply "our perceptions" and not truths at all. It's a grand way to really muddy those waters.

Given the bigger picture, and that by design we perceive the world around us through the lens of our own understanding, we may be capable of grasping limited truths as they individually apply, but as the finite struggling to comprehend the infinite, I'm not really sure anymore that anyone can know actual reality or the never changing nature of those multifaceted universal truths we like to think we do.
This is where faith and trust come into play I suppose.

Again that's up to you to figure out.

I don't expect or even ask that anyone believes what I do because I do and I wouldn't respect it if you did. I have arrived at my own conclusions throughy own experience and so I suggest you do the same. Search your hearts with the sort of honesty that allows you to forget any pride about having been wrong so that you can move forward.

Think for yourself, please.
I'm as fucked up if not worse than you.

Last,  I will say this: It is in the end better to run toward something instead of away from something.

The latter will simply keep you running forever and accomplishes little in the end. Even the best horse in the race will drop if they are run hard enough, long enough.

Solo Cristo Salva
d (-_-) b